Dear Ladies

It's high time that we realized just how destructive our silly ways of arguing, questioning, and generally being unsexy have hurt us.

I haven't had time to keep up with the unpleasantness over the Kos Pie Fight Ad, what with all the cookie baking and dusting I've been doing in this heat. I've barely had time to pay attention to those silly little political things those big strong men think about. I only have this blog so I can practice typing and get a clerical job under some big, strong man who I can marry and look up to adoringly. Or, at the very least, I can type his letters and support him in his endeavors and stifle my own, since that's the way I'm wired. You know, us chicks totally dig that.

Then I hear about you mean, nasty women who didn't laugh at Kos' jokes.

Look, no man likes a humorless feminist. I mean, we all know that having a sense of humor means laughing at a man's jokes no matter stupid or unfunny they are.

We should just be grateful they do all the difficult thinking for us 'cause, like, we can't.  If the liberal menfolk say they fight for us, then we should believe them, even when it looks like they don't.  Because we don't understand things like logic and stuff. Being female and all we spend most of our energy thinking of push-up bras and exfoliation and whatnot. And baking. Gosh, I just love to bake.  I really love baking pies.

Where was I? Oh, yes. . .

When are we, as liberal and progressive women, going to listen to our menfolk, who were born to lead and dominate us? When are we going to stop all of this annoying thinking? No man wants to marry a woman who thinks for herself. She should just think enough to agree with him.

In this way, girls, we can see that there is some agreement between left and right, so there is hope for bipartisanship after all.

When I surrendered control, something magical happened.  The union I had always dreamed of appeared.  The man who had wooed me was back. The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage to revitalize intimacy.

It's time we applied this to politics, as well. If we just let the strong menfolk take care of things everything will be okay. And if it isn't, we shouldn't say a word about it because they will withdraw from us further and not do anything for us. Even though they haven't done much for us as it is. . .

Oh! Did I say that out loud? I mean, we should all just be happy the menfolk let us type letters for them and make sandwiches for their meetings. It's all so complicated to actually participate in political debates. They know we aren't built for that, and in their wisdom put us in our place when we question them by making tired and old witty and clever jokes about humorless eminists not shaving their legs.

Besides, bruising a man's ego is a naughty thing to do. Men of all stripes understand that, and if we don't understand it, then they will whine and snivel and throw big tantrums just let our right to choose go down the tubes, they'll ignore women's issues in general, and they'll say women bloggers don't exist.

And they haven't done that all so far, now have they?

Now, I've got a manicure and waxing appointment coming up, so I've gotta run. But you girls think about it.

Comments

[elfinity]

I am not trying to be snarky here, but does it strike anyone as very odd when some "progressive" dude basically comes out with the message, "We REALLY care about everyone's rights! Like the soldiers and Iraqis and stuff. Oh, except for your rights. You should shut up and agree with us."
I mean, to me, that basically means that no, they are not indeed progressive/liberal or anything of the sort. It just so happens that their agenda most closely matches the liberal ideals.
The minute one starts to judge whose opinions matter and whose does not without taking the time to see WHY those people got those opinions, they are not being progressive, open-minded, and whatever else they pretend to be.

[elfinity]

I am not trying to be snarky here, but does it strike anyone as very odd when some "progressive" dude basically comes out with the message, "We REALLY care about everyone's rights! Like the soldiers and Iraqis and stuff. Oh, except for your rights. You should shut up and agree with us."
I mean, to me, that basically means that no, they are not indeed progressive/liberal or anything of the sort. It just so happens that their agenda most closely matches the liberal ideals.
The minute one starts to judge whose opinions matter and whose does not without taking the time to see WHY those people got those opinions, they are not being progressive, open-minded, and whatever else they pretend to be.

[learned]

Well I was kind of mad about the dismissive and rude post by Kos, but then all the men made fun of me for being mad, so I guess I'm not mad anymore.

I think I'm going to go into work today and fire all the women who work for me. Clearly they are getting all independent and uppity with those darn salaries I pay them. After all, once they've got their own 401k how will they be able to concentrate on their real work of being cute and funny at all times.

Thanks to Kos and the kind men who supported him, I now see the error of my ways and I too will endeaver to learn to bake.

In fact, maybe I'll go bake some cookies for those nice people over at the Green party.

[Jenny K]

kudos hellcat!

Morgaine: yeah, I've had that reaction too.

[Paul T. Geist]

Stop by for a drink on Betty Blogger
at Lefty's Lounge, Pinko.

[Iconoclast]

I've got to get control back! What the hell was I thinking! I actually believed that my wife was better at managing our money than I am. I actually listened to her when she told me how to fix my screwed up credit. Now she's considering pursuing an MBA, I need to put a stop to this, we could actually be successful and share in this success equally! What about our daughter? Will she believe that she can actually accomplish anything? Have I been brainwashed? I knew there was something wrong with this.

[Morgaine Swann]

Brilliant post. These guys make me want to stop shaving my legs.

[Lisa Williams]

haha ha ha! This is the first post in this whole depressing mess that made me laugh out loud.

Thank you!

[molly]

Good thing no one told my husband he wasn't supposed to marry me for thinking for myself...and sometimes him.

[Betty Blogger]

Thank you, hellcat. Pinko, you have been an idol of mine for a long time. Kos is kind of like um a dork on this one. But he does look cute when he let's his hair down

[Missouri Mule]

Now is the time for all good women to come to the aid of their country. Treat them like chit, and never give em any.

[Pseudo-Adrienne]

"Besides, bruising a man's ego is a naughty thing to do."

Oh yes. Parish the thought that one of these so called "liberal/progressive" men have their fee-fees hurt by mean ole feminists who don't take their hypocritical, sexist bullshit. How quick these guys turn 'Republican' on us when we don't act like Stepfordwives, inflate their frail egos, and "bake cookies" for them.

[Jami]

funny stuff, but i still haven't seen anyone really put into words why the pie fight ad is not cool. putting into funny words like yours would be even better.

it seems like progressive women don't want to admit that they don't like seeing that shit, because we're all supposed to act lesbian because men like it. twistedly, the more we are NOT lesbians, the more we care what men like.

[Liz Smith]

I'm breaking out a new bottle of nail polish today. This is just too much for me to fathom.

[Lauren]

I showed that ad to my lesbian roommate and she liked it. Talked to one you talked to them all.

[thebloodychamber]

I reckon men on the left are slipping up, and letting us see the sexism. But, oh, they're *not* sexist, why aren't we *grateful*, dammit?! Kos & co - understandably, perhaps - think the liberal stripe is enough to balance out any sexism they show. I doubt they'd be as careless about black or gay issues, to be brutally honest. They need to *get* that we're not beholden to them for our emancipation, and that being male is one hell of an advantage.